A glassless window

I have found the solution to my problem: blues dancing.

Oh man. I tried it for the first time ever, and... wow. Just wow. Maybe there's more structure to it than I realize, but it feels like pure musicality. It's like you can do whatever you want. Well, the guy can do whatever he wants, and the girl can do... whatever the guy wants. :P

Like I said, me being a complete n00b, maybe there's more to it than I realize, but it seemed like (for the girl) it's pure following... Like, you *can't* dance it at all if you're not following properly -- if you're not really *listening* to your lead. Feeling his every movement.

As a more experienced follow pointed out to me near the beginning of the night, this does mean that it can be absolutely horrible if the guy either doesn't know how to lead well or feels the music in some strange way that you can't pick up on. But with a good lead...

Wow.

It can feel incredibly organic... even raw, depending on the music. But beyond that... there's something so intimate about a dance that relies entirely on amazing connection between lead and follow. For me, feeling someone's movement -- really feeling it -- has a stronger effect on me than even hearing them play music, or reading something they've written, or seeing something they've drawn. All of these things are like a window into a part of a person that otherwise remains invisible. A part that reflects the essence of them as a person. It always affects me, to be able to peer into such a window and to see what's there inside of them, pushing its way to the surface through a pen, or through an instrument... through movement.

Even to watch a person's movement can be incredibly powerful, but to feel it and move with it is something else entirely. Can two people be connected more closely -- more directly -- than through movement of their bodies? Structured dances with specific patterns can be amazingly fun, and you can certainly express yourself through them (though often by playing around with the patterns...). But performing specific, learned motions in prescribed patterns is like singing a song that someone else has written: maybe it perfectly conveys what you want to express (and to the extent that it does, it can be a wonderful window... but who can tell if it does?), but it isn't the same as writing your own song. Moving however you feel like moving is like making your own music; partner dancing in an unstructured style is like jamming. Only strip away the instruments, strip away the distance, make the music not the connection itself but the matrix through which two people can move together as one... More than any other dance I've tried, blues is like this. And it's incredible.